Dear Listener.

If you have chosen to listen to this audio for pleasure, I advise you to put it down instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest.

This recording contains such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine. a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, and coupons. If you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

I have promised to record the entire history of these poor children, but you haven't, so please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect.

LEMONY SNICKET

Lemony Snicket grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. To his horror and dismay he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant. You may visit him on the web at www. lemonysnicket. com